How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
