How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
