i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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