Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
