careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
