YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
