Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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