dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
