If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
