tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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