She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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