whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
