pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
