we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
