BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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