I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
