so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
