oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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