im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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