So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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