i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
