:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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