im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
