Jerry, you need to find god
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
