dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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