We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
