just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
