trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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