I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Boobs speak an international language.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
