even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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