So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
