i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
