p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
