dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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