But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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