Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
