Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
