ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
