I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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