i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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