I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
