so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
