its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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