I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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