he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
