She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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