we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
