So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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