apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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