why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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