When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
